Previous Weeks:
Week 2 and 3 Week 4 Week 5 (booo Bengals) Week 6 Week 7 (Week 7 victory recap) Week 8 Week 9 Week 10 Week 11 Week 12 Week 13 (Victory recap) Week 14
Late posting time, so let's make this quick. Last week #TooManyLegs went 5-3 individually to drop to 5-8 on the season. Obviously, I'd love to see this already profitable season produce a winning record, but on the bright side...there's just something I love about the ole five-eight.
Like the Bills being the ones to knock the Patriots off their AFC East Throne (thank GOD it wasn't the Jets or Dolphins); if I have to have a losing record, I'm glad it's at least numbers I love.
It's almost Christmas and I'll be honest with you guys, I'm not in the holiday spirit too much this year. It's kind of hard given the status of humanity and the chemicals in my brain just straight up having it out for me. But one thing 2020 will never shut down is the giving spirit. I have already given #TooManyLegs riders (from the jump) more of a stimulus than Uncle Sam. Sure the payments have been sporadic af, but it's something! With Christmas just five days away, it's my last chance to give you some extra last minute present cash, so let's get into the picks. 6-8 here we come! I don't want to see the kids go without presents (or food)!
Colts -1 (from -7)
I love Jonathan Taylor against the Texans 31st ranked run defense. In their matchup just two weeks ago Taylor averaged 7.0 YPC in 26-20 Colts win.
I am purely fading the Texans with this pick after they fucked me last week when I didn't check and see that their entire team was inactive. Colts are still fighting for their playoff lives and will win this game.
Titans -3 (from -9)
Do we really think the Chase Daniel lead Detroit Lions are going to go into Nashville and hang with the Titans? I mentioned early this week that Derrick Henry has a puncher's chance at 2000 yards and a major reason is the Lions awful defense. I think we see another 200+ yard day for Tractorito in a convincing Titans victory.
Bucs -0.5 (from -6.5)
It's simple; no Julio and Tom Brady against the Falcons.
Brady is 6-0 all time against the dirty birds and obviously that includes Super Bowl LI. Last time he played in this stadium, he won the Super Bowl. I love Tampa in essentially pick-em situation. Falcons are going to lose out.
Bears/Vikings OVER 41 (from 47)
Seahawks -0.5 (from -6.5)
It's never good when the team you're betting on's weakness (offensive line) is going up against the opponents strength (pass rush), but at the end of the day in a QB battle of Russell Wilson vs. Dwayne Haskins; give me Russell. The NFC East has surely gained a lot of respect the last month, but the Football Team just won't have the firepower to compete.
Cardinals/Eagles OVER 43.5 (from 49.5)
In an all Oklahoma QB match up I think we'll see a Big 12 like scoring day.
Jets/Rams UNDER 50.5 (from 44.5)
The Jets are either 31st or 32nd in the NFL in the following offensive categories:
Rams defense is top three in all those categories AND the Rams last 10 games scores have averaged JUST over 41 PPG (41.1). I think we see the Rams put up some big numbers early, maybe like a 24-3 half time lead? Then sort of put it in cruise control against a winless Jets team. No need to risk injury going balls to the walls against a team actively trying to lose.
Browns -0.5 (from -6.5)
Giants have been a great turn around story, but I don't see Colt McCoy winning a 2nd game in 2020 or having the firepower to keep up with the Browns offense. I love the Browns in a bounce back after a wild MNF heartbreaker in their 2nd straight nationally televised game.
Good luck and as always, please wager responsibly.
P.S. firepower
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I'm not a big rules guy, but I am a firm believer in Christmas music having its proper time and place. I'm not anti-Christmas music by any means, I just am not trying to hear "Jingle Bell Rock" in early November unless I'm watching Home Alone (which transcends seasons). Two nights ago (a completely appropriate time for Christmas music), at The Stars Come Out to Sing at Christmas, a benefit concert for U.K. music-therapy charity, Nordoff Robbins, Florence Welch was one of the many artists to perform in an event that's raised over $400,000 and counting. During her set, Florence sang "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" and per usual knocked out of the goT damn park with her perfect pipes. She's so angelic that she belongs on top of the tree. It's well documented that I love all things Florence, but if you want to start calling out her flaws...a lack of Christmas recordings is certainly close to the top of the list. She can clearly sing anything in any genre, so now that the cat's out of Santa's sack, it's time for her to do the right thing and drop an entire Christmas album. I'm somewhat surprised she hasn't already given her vocal range and projects away from + the machine. I know she's more spiritual than religious, but I'm almost positive one of my favorite FATM songs "You've Got the Love" is about JC and I'm not talking Chasez. Maybe savior was a metaphor for her lover? Maybe she was just too busy selling out arenas around the world with + the machine to find the time to record some more Christmas covers? Maybe its too much of a "my career is over" move? I'm not sure, I'm not Florence. All I know is after hearing this I need more. This was the free nug to get you hooked, now I'm itching for a brick of Christmas Florence. Luckily, there's at least one more documented Florence (+ the machine) Christmas song. P.S. Completely unrelated, but here's another Christmas song by one of my favorite acts in the music game. Five Long Shot NFL Statistical Milestones That Are Still In Play With Three Games Remaining12/17/2020
Individual numbers just aren't as prioritized or celebrated in the ultimate team game as they are in the other major sports.
Most people who consider themselves sports fans probably know about Wilt Chamberlain's 100 point game, Joe DiMaggio's 56 game hitting streak or even (to bring the references into this millennium) Michael Phelps' 8 Gold Medals at the 2008 Olympic Games. For decades if you said "755", people knew exactly what you were talking about, but in football, there isn't really a true numerical comparison to those legendary numbers. Obviously, there's some people on this planet who know that the single game receiving yards record is held by Flipper Anderson with 336 yards or that Emmitt Smith is the all-time leading rusher, but in the eyes of most fans, players and coaches; football is all about winning and losing. Numbers aren't revered like they are in baseball or basketball; even with fantasy football being as popular as it is. Dan Marino retired with over 40 NFL records, but the only one people remember is 0-1 in the Super Bowl. Last year, the NFL dedicated their season to paying homage to the league's first 100 years. There were countless documentaries and series looking back at the players, coaches and administrators who grew this game from barnstorming teams of butchers and fire fighters to a multi-billionaire dollar mega-league with a monopoly on the Lord's Day. For obvious reason, this season has been a Caddyshack II like follow-up to NFL 100.
Despite the eerie feel to this NFL 101 season, it's still football. Thanks to playoff expansion, there's plenty of teams still in the hunt.
Because of that, these five players on contending teams have a real chance to accomplish some pretty major statistical milestones. Not all are league records, but all have serious historical ramifications. I'm not saying a single one will happen, but all have a puncher's chance. Watch out for these five potential accomplishments in final three weeks of the season.
Patrick Mahomes: 5000 Passing Yards (currently leads the league with 4208)
2020 has been an awful year for the vast majority of mankind, but Patrick Mahomes is not like the vast majority of mankind. In February, he lead the Kansas City Chiefs to their first Super Bowl since the 1969 season when the AFL still existed and man had just walked on moon. In July, Mahomes signed the first 500 million dollar deal in NFL history.
This year, Mahomes is less than 800 yards away from passing for 5,000 yards for the second time in three seasons. Of all the stats in this blog, I am most confident in this actually happening. As long as Mahomes stays healthy, he should hit the 5,000 yard mark for the second time in his young career. That's significant because Drew Brees is the only player in NFL history with more than one 5,000 yard passing season (he has 5). Sure, passing numbers are more inflated in today's NFL than the bag of chips in How To With John Wilson.
But the 5,000 yard mark has only been surpassed 12 times in league history; it's still a big deal.
Maybe someday 5,000 will be the new 4,000 (especially with a 17th and possible 18th game seeming inevitable), but as of now only seven men have thrown for over 5,000 yards in a season. With 792 more yards, Patrick Mahomes will become only the second player to ever achieve this feat more than once. I'd give Patrick at least a 75% chance of passing for 5,000+ yards. Remaining schedule: Week 15: @ Saints (4th in passing defense) Week 16: vs Falcons (30th in passing defense) Week 17: vs Chargers (7th in passing defense)
Derrick Henry: 2000 Rushing Yards (currently leads the league with 1532)
After looking like a low key bust his first two season, Derrick Henry has been an absolute monster with the ball in his hands. Last season, he carried the Titans to their first AFC Championship game since 2002 while leading the league in rushing.
This year he's followed it up by leading the league in rushing again (as of week 14) with exactly 200 yard more Dalvin Cook (who to his credit, has missed time). It's December, which means it's Tractorcito season. Last year Henry rushed for 747 yards and 10 touchdowns in his final 6 starts of the regular season to clinch the 6th and final playoff spot. Sure, 468 yards is a tall order (156 YPG) for even Tractorcito, but if there's anybody in the league who can put up those time of numbers in bunches, it's Derrick Henry.
Given how much he's dominated the league since the 99 yard run against the Jags in 2018; it feels like Derrick is destined to join the likes of O.J. Simpson, Eric Dickerson, Barry Sanders, Terrell Davis, Jamal Lewis, Chris Johnson and Adrian Peterson in the 2000 yard club. It's his time.
Anecdotally, Mahomes reaching 5,000 may be more likely, but the schedule (and season) favors Tractorcito, especially with the Titans in a fight with the Colts for the AFC South crown. I'm giving Derrick a 55% chance at 2K.
Remaining schedule:
Week 15: vs Lions (29th in rushing defense) Week 16: @ Packers (11th in rushing defense) Week 17: @ Texans (31st in rushing defense)
Aaron Rodgers: 50 Passing Touchdowns (currently leads the league with 39)
10 years after winning his only Super Bowl, Aaron Rodgers is still playing at an MVP level; he's completing over 69% of his passes and has thrown 39 touchdowns with only 4 interceptions.
That cherry-picked stat does cut off Brady's 50 TD 8 INT 2007, but shows how great Rodgers has played. IMO he's the MVP. Look at what Rodgers is working with compared to Mahomes.
The Packers are currently in the NFC's one seed thanks to a head-to-head victory over the Saints back in September, but they'll need to win out to assure home field advantage. With three games remaining, Rodgers is only 11 touchdowns away from a 50 piece for the year. Only three QBs in NFL history have reached that threshold; Tom Brady in 2007 (50), Peyton Manning in 2013 (55) and Patrick Mahomes in 2018 (50). In 2011 Rodgers came close, but rested for the final game of the season with 45 TD passes. 11 touchdowns may seem like a lot for only three games, but Rodgers had thrown 10 in his last three starts.
Against two bottom-third passing defenses in his last three games, Aaron has more than a solid chance to reach 50 touchdown passes and possibly win his third MVP.
If you asked him if he'd rather throw for 50 touchdowns or win the Super Bowl, Rodgers wouldn't hesitate to say he wants the 2nd ring, but after the Packers traded up to draft a QB, I'm sure he'd love to have this feather in his ironic cowboy hat. 45% chance Aaron serves a 50 burger.
Remaining schedule:
Week 15: vs Panthers (23rd in passing defense) Week 16: vs Titans (29th in passing defense) Week 17: @ Bears (15th in passing defense)
Rob Gronkowski: 10 Receiving Touchdowns (nowhere close to leading the league with only 5 touchdowns)
Gronk scored at least 10 touchdowns in 5 of his first 6 seasons, but hasn't reached that plateau since 2015. Of all the numbers were going to talk about in this blog, Gronk reaching double digit touchdowns seems the least likely. It took 87 until week 6 to find the endzone and he's only scored five touchdowns all season.
I'm just personally rooting for this because I still love Gronk. I do think there's a minor chance it happens IF Gronk scores twice this week; he's gotta bite a big chunk off that total this week to have any chance. Last week Gronk only had one catch, but it was a 2 yard touchdown grab. A simple eye test will show you Gronk isn't the player he used to be; injuries have made him a shell of his former self. The dude fucking retired after all. I just hate seeing Travis Kelce be successful and need to have Gronk find a way to get to double digit touchdowns as a I'm still here marker. Kelce's gonna retire with more yards, but there's no way on earth at their peaks that Kelce is better. I'll say it one more time, FUCK Travis Kelce. I'd give Gronk somewhere between a 6.9% and 8.7% chance of catching five touchdowns the next three weeks. He hasn't scored 5 touchdowns in a three game span since week 8-10 of the 2014 season. There's a lot of mouths to feed in the Bucs offense, but Tampa plays the Falcons twice with the Lions sandwiched in between. You can't find a much more favorable schedule for Gronk. Those are two of the worst passing defenses in the NFL and two of the three games are in dome environments for the old man. Plus the Falcons have given up 9 touchdowns to opposing TEs and the Lions aren't much better with 7.
Remaining schedule:
Week 15: @ Falcons (30th in passing defense) Week 16: @ Lions (27th in passing defense) Week 17: vs Falcons (30th in passing defense)
Marlon Humprey: 10 Forced Fumbles (currently leads the league with 8 FF)
Ravens CB Marlon Humprey has only one interception on the season, but has forced 8 fumbles.
Of all the potential statistical milestones in this blog, Humprey actually has a chance to tie or surpass an NFL record; 10 forced fumbles in a season. This record is shared by Robert Mathis (2013), Charles Tillman (2012) and Osi Umenyiora (2010). It's almost impossible to predict fumbles, but Humprey clearly has a knack for knocking the ball out; forcing 4 in his last three games. The Ravens end the season with the Jaguars, Giants and Bengals; three of the worst and most turnover prone offenses in the NFL. The Jaguars have fumbled 13 times (losing 7), the Giants Daniel Jones has 10 fumbles by himself and the Bengals are the Bengals. I love seeing linemen score and non-QB throw TDs, so you best believe, even though I hate the Ravens that I want to see a CB tie/break the single season forced fumble record. Since he only needs two in three games I'll give Humprey a 44% chance.
Remaining schedule:
Week 15: vs Jaguars (8th most turnovers in the NFL) Week 16: vs Giants (10th most turnovers in the NFL) Weel 17: @Bengals (5th most turnovers in the NFL)
What stats do you have you eye on as the season reaches its end? Which ones covered in this blog do you think will happen? Which ones won't? What did I miss? Let's see if we can mix in a comment below! #HireDozo
Previous issues of #Dozzfeed:
39 Photos That Will Bring You Right Back to the 90's!!! 17 People Who Played for the Lakers and Celtics 8 Financial Memes That Will Inspire You To Become RICH! 33 Things That Were Happening Across the World the Last Time the New England Patriots Had a Three Game Losing Streak
I am soooooo sorry, DozzFeeders! Not only has there been a lack of #DozzFeed content recently, but when it finally makes its long awaited return, its sports-centric, AGAIN.
But you know here at #DozzFeed, if there's one thing we love more than camouflaging ads for Target as list blogs, it's commemorating the passing of time with googled references to popular culture.
So, it should come as no surprise that when we learned a streak longer than Princess Diana's wedding dress had come to an end that we had to pounce at the chance to reminisce.
When the Bills beat the Steelers last night and those New England Cheatriots were finally dethroned from their 11 year reign as American Football Conference Eastern Division champions it was time for a celebration.
While it is a joyous occasion, we at DozzFeed have not forgotten those shows/artists/apps/people who never got to experience a world where the Patriots weren't hosting (at least one) home playoff game.
12 years have passed since the Miami Dolphins won the AFC East in 2008 and some amazing shows/artists/apps/people came and went without ever experiencing a world where the Buffalo Bills, Miami Dolphins or New York Jets were AFC East Champs. Today we honor and remember a dozen of things that came and went between 2008-2020 and sadly never got to see this glorious day.
1. HBO's Game of Thrones (aired April 17th, 2011-May 19th, 2019)
2. Vine (January 24th, 2013-January 17th, 2017)
3. Hue Jackson's 11-44-1 NFL Head Coaching Career (2011; 2016-18)
4. One Direction's Entire Existence (formed in 2010; on "hiatus" since 2016)
5. John Frusciante's Second Exit from the Red Hot Chili Peppers (July 29th, 2009-December 15th, 2019)
6. Dan Hurley's tenure as Head Coach of the Rhode Island Rams (March 2012-March 2018)
7. The Grammy Award for Best Blues Album (Awarded from 2012-2016)
8. Leslie Jones' run as an SNL Cast Member (2014-2019)
9. The Marriage of Chris Pratt and Anna Faris (July 9th, 2009-October 16th, 2019)
10. Flappy Bird (2013-2014)
11. My Career as a Pizza Delivery Man (2012-2017)
12. The B1G Ten's Legends and Leaders Divisions (2010-2013)
What's your favorite thing that came and went during the Patriots 11 year stranglehold on the AFC East? Comment below! #HireDozo
With 2020 quickly approaching its final days you're sure to see plenty of "best of" pieces recapping the highlights of music, tv, film etc. from this otherwise not so chill year. I'm not ready to release my best of 2020 music blog just yet since I don't think it's fair to write off December entirely, but I'll give you a little sneak preview right now during #TooManyLegs. One of my favorite albums of the year was Under My Influence by The Aces and one of my favorite songs off that album was All Mean Nothing. In the teaser game anything other than perfection means you win nothing. Last week #TooManyLegs cashed out for the first time since Week 7 to improve to 5-7 on the year. Let's ride that wave into 6-7 station for Week 14. Previous Weeks: Week 2 and 3 Week 4 Week 5 (booo Bengals) Week 6 Week 7 (Week 7 victory recap) Week 8 Week 9 Week 10 Week 11 Week 12 Week 13 (Victory recap) Chiefs -1 (from -7) The Dolphins are without defense signal caller Kyle Van Noy which could cause confusion against the league's most explosive offense. After a less than stellar offensive performance against the Broncos on SNF I love the Chiefs to win in Miami for the second time this calendar year. Miami just doesn't have the firepower to keep up with Kansas City. Mahomes is 7-0 in his career against top five scoring defenses. Buccaneers -1 (from -7) Tom Brady hasn't lost three straight starts since 2002. I fully expect the streak to continue against the Vikings. Love Tampa's run D against Dalvin Cook in this matchup. Titans -1.5 (from -7.5) The Titans are in must win territory after getting embarrassed by the Browns last week despite the final score making things appear closer than they actually were. Both defenses suck and I should've just teased the over, but it's already locked in, so we're riding with the Titans. If the Titans can't beat Mike Glennon they shouldn't be allowed to participate in the postseason. Giants +9 (from +3) After starting 0-5, everybody and their mother is on the Giants bandwagon so I'm a little worried to ride here, but the Cardinals offense seems to have been figured out. With Danny Dimes returning against a reeling Arizona Cardinals team who's a Hail Murray away from a five game losing streak I love the Giants to stay within striking distance and possibly win outright. Texans +5 (from -1) I know I'm not supposed to tease past zero, but it's worked for me more often than not this season. The Chicago Bears should rename themselves the Chicago short-face bears because their effort and 2020 playoff hopes are extinct. They rolled over and died last week against the Lion and I'm expecting more against the Texans. After starting 5-1 the Bears have dropped six straight. With DeShaun Watson in town the Bears get to be reminded of their monumental mistake of trading up to take Mitch Trubisky! Even if the Texans (who also stink) can't pull off the victory, I don't see the Chicago Bears outscoring an NFL team by a touchdown, which is what it would take for this leg to fail. Colts/Raiders OVER 46.5 (from 52.5)
Packers -2 (from -8) The Lions may have gotten a spark from Matt Patricia getting fired, but the Packers own the Lions historically and are still very much in the hunt for the NFC's top seed; I don't expect a let down here. The Packers have the highest scoring offense in the NFL and the Lions have allowed the 31st most points in the league. No need to overthink. Saints -1.5 (from -7.5) Jaylen Hurts looked decent to good at times against the Packers off the bench last week, but the Saints defense is elite and has a full week to prepare. Taysom Hill runs for two TDs in a Saints bloodbath. Good luck and as always, please gamble responsibly.
Well, this cute little stat was fun while it lasted.
The Patriots got absolutely dominated tonight which sorta makes sense given how Bill dressed for the evening.
— Doz #hiredozo (@DozonLife) December 11, 2020
I find it very fitting and almost poetic that a franchise who famously lost after 18 straight wins saw a winning streak regarding playing football games with half the regular rest time end at nine straight wins.
Not only did the Pats short rest winning streak come to an end, but so did their six game winning streak against the Los Angeles/St. Louis Rams franchise dating back to Super Bowl XXXVI. There's a simple explanation for this defeat and it's not the uniforms; it's law of large numbers! Law of large numbers in probability and statistics states that as a sample size grows, its mean gets closer to the average of the whole population. I've been debating whether or not to get a stathead subscription, but I'm leaning towards it. I wish I did right now to give more accurate data, but the stats in that tweet paint a picture of teams playing on short rest performing poorly (even though I feel like the vast majority of time both teams in these matchups are on short rest so it sort of cancels itself out) but the Patriots had won nine straight. I suppose the turnaround time was going to catch up with them eventually. It's like the stats at a roulette wheel. They really have nothing to do with the outcome of the next spin, but you can use those stats to go with or against probability to make a decision. If it's been black nine spins in a row you can bet your sweet ass I'm betting red, but when it comes to the Pats, like I referenced in my last post; I'm going down with the ship. There's still a chance the Patriots can finish 9-7 which would tie Bill Belichick with Tom Landry with the most consecutive winning seasons of all time, but the loss means their playoff hopes are now all but gone. Honestly that may not be the worst thing. Let's call a spade a spade; this is not a Super Bowl caliber roster.
Maaaaaybe, the uniforms had something do with that streak after all. I sure do miss them.
After beating the Ravens in week 10, I wrote about how the Patriots playoff hopes were all of a sudden not super dead. When they followed that up with a loss to the 2-7 Houston Texans, I'll admit I was ready to pull their plug like Mike Schiavo.
However, since losing to the Texans and making DeShaun Watson look the son of Patrick Mahomes and Steve Young, the Pats have rebounded. Thanks to a solid running game, great situational defense and elite special teams they defeated the Arizona Cardinals and L.A. Chargers to get back to .500.
Despite no longer having a losing record, the Pats are still on the outside looking in at the playoffs. They could potentially win out and still miss the postseason for the first time since 2008, but another loss would be the final nail in their playoff hopes coffin with three games to go and multiple teams to jump.
Tonight, the Patriots play at SoFi Stadium for their 2nd straight game; this time against the Los Angeles Rams in what many people have called a Super Bowl LIII rematch with a chance to move into the NFL record books.
Sure these teams might've faced off in the Super Bowl less than 24 months ago, but a lot has changed since.
Of course I'm talking about their uniforms..
..and the lack of fans.
The Patriots are currently a 4.5 point underdog against the 8-4 Rams; one of only two NFL teams in the top 10 in offense and defense (Chargers are the other).
Even though that stat means nothing because points > yards (The Rams are 3rd in yards gained, but only 17th in PPG), it's still something interesting to know going into the game.
What's even more interesting to know going into the game is this; As a whole, NFL teams playing on short rest suck....well almost all NFL teams.
Not only are the Patriots 9-0 on short rest, but they're outscoring their opponents by nearly 17 points a game.
Now I know what you're probably thinking "well Dozo, that all came back in their old uniforms" you can't count that stat, gotta throw it out, it means nothing now without those old uniforms. I'll ask you this; ever heard of Jacoby Brissett?
Because he lead the New England Patriots to victory in a professional football game on short rest wearing the home version of the Patriots current uniforms.
It won't be easy. Cam Newton has thrown for less than 100 yards each of his last two starts and faces a defense that has arguably two of the top five defense players in the game, but 9-0 is 9-0. Belichick has been there the entire time and that's really all you need because Sean McVay is going to be so caught up in trying to give Bill a social distanced organism after getting embarrassed in the Super Bowl that the Patriots will probably have three special teams touchdowns to make up for their stagnant offense.
If the Patriots playoff hopes and perfect record since 2009 on short rest do die tonight, I'm going down with the ship.
The purpose of this blog isn't to dissect my sense of humor and explain why I find this viral tweet hilarious. I just do.
The purpose of this blog is to inform!
I mentioned in my Howard Cosell/John Lennon blog last night that I'm turning 29 next week. I don't say that in the LeGarrette Blount retirement sense; I'm about to make a point.
I say it because I feel washed the fuck up! Like the game has passed me by. I've tried to figure out TikTok a half-dozen times and have given up hope; even though it would 100% help my career. It just makes me feel like a World War II Vet trying to learn how to type. I should make the distinction that I don't feel old, because I don't. Last week someone guessed I'm 23. Teachers think I'm a student all the time, despite being 300+ pounds with a beard. I just worry that I'm falling out of the loop, which as a blogger can be a death sentence. I don't care that I don't know what a Doja Cat is or how to hit the woah, I just don't want to become an old soul. Sadly, the replies to this tweet did just that. Like is stealing menus a thing now? Has it been a thing for the last decade and I'm just finding out now??? I was flabbergasted to learn how many people have authentic Chipotle paraphernalia decorating the place they call home. I don't say this to judge. I love it! Chipotle is my favorite fast-casual restaurant and I'm super jealous these people thought of it first. I just never pictured its signage being used as decor, but like Shia once said "art is anything that moves you". Back when I was in high school and college you were sure to know someone with stolen street signs on the walls or a cemetery of empty Burnett's on top of the cabinets. Shit, there might have been a cardboard movie cutout in their living room if their boss was cool, but never did I see a menu! I was more amazed than Lonestar in 1999 when I saw this thread.
Say what you want about Chiptole decor, but it sure beats having live, laugh, love stickers over your fake fireplace like every other Kayleigh and Braxxxton out there.
As a minor league historian, I'm fascinated by what topics and issues of my lifetime will be covered in the history chromebooks generations from now; if there even are generations from now. 9/11 is a shoo-in. I'm sure the new 1968 that is 2020 will get a paragraph or two, but in a much less polarizing sense, I am curious as to what inventions/innovations/customs/trends/pop culture events etc. will be deemed historically relevant or significant 100 years from now. After Blu Rays vs HD-DVDs: the last great format war; one thing that I think will be definitely be covered in the computer chip that gets shoved in your brain at birth, after your laser circumcision is the Information Age. During my lifetime (which is exactly a week away from reaching 29 years) the internet went from a horse and buggy to spaceX. The information superhighway has made communication almost instantaneous. I was alive during beepers, but I still don't really get what they actually did. We went from not being able to use our house phone when dialed up to the interweb to yelling at our cell phone to play "No Scrubs" by TLC or get directions to pick up a new doggo at a no kill animal shelter. People used to always have to type www. before EVERYTHING. Now you don't even need to put .com, your computer probably already knows what you're gonna search after two letters. Pr-operty Sex again I see? Think about how much technology has changed in even the last 10 years. The ways we communicate have progressed past capitalism. Think about how greedy every corporation is for a moment. These are the people behind the monetization of water. Remember when phone companies used to charge PER TEXT? I got yelled constantly for going over the 300 texts I was allotted per month. Now every form of social media has a free chat feature. I have five different group-chats in five different apps with the same two people. We text so much as a whole that companies were like "fuck it, just give us whatever my dad pays on his cell phone bill". Camera-phone used to be a considered a bell and whistle. Now the idea of a phone without a camera is like the idea of a car without wheels. Imagine how much differently 9/11 would've been and looked if it took place in like, 2018? It wasn't even 20 years ago and there's only three known videos of the first plane. THREE. You take three pics before sending a selfie with a filter to your adult crush. If 9/11 happened two years ago there would've been hundreds of TikTokers catching the first plane hit while they dance in unison on public, crowded sidewalks. I can't even wrap my head around the possibility of this because of how quick our news cycle is, but imagine if the tragic death of Kobe, Gianna and seven others was actually broken during the Pro Bowl and not hours before. That's basically the closest comparison I can make to what took place on the night of December 8th, 1980 when John Lennon was murdered outside of the Dakota by a lunatic fan named Mark David Chapman. The world didn't learn about the news from a push notification or break news bulletin, it came before a potential game winning field goal attempt on Monday Night Football and word of mouth until the news aired. We've had four Monday Night Football double headers this season, but MNF pales in comparison to the must watch television event it was in its early hay day. Monday Night Football is greatly responsible for the marriage of professional sports and popular American culture. Millions are people shared the experience of learning this horrible news from Howard Cosell. Nearly six years to the day, Lennon was interviewed by Howard Cosell at halftime of a Los Angeles vs Washington game. Now he was telling the world the unspeakable tragedy of his passing. It was not an easy decision. Howard had a friendly relationship with Lennon and wasn't sure if this was the time to tell the world; knowing the magnitude of the news. If you've never seen the Outside the Lines segment on how the entire story went down, you gotta see it. The pure happenstance led to ABC getting the scoop seems too good to be true. While the quality makes it seem like this video was filmed in 1980 too, it's a must watch. This video is actual footage from the broadcast. I'm a huge Cosell guy, so I've probably watched that clip a dozen times; every single time that vigil and people signing "Give Peace a Chance" chokes me up. It's still something we should highly consider.
R.I.P. John Lennon and Howard Cosell.
The DOL Too Many Legs Teaser of the Week hit yesterday for the first time since week 7 and experienced its first true 8 for 8, +1000 payout since week 4; #Yikes.
It's been so looooong (one O for each week) since I wrote a #TooManyLegs victory recap blog that you can clearly see how much "I use food to cope with existence" weight ya boi has put on since our last cash out. #DoubleYikes
Week 13
Week 7
Luckily January will be here before you know it.
As for the teaser itself, not only did the teaser hit, but the lines/totals that I teased went 7-1 in their original state. While I'm a big advocate of responsible gambling, that really makes me wanna bet the entire board next week. The only teaser pick that didn't cover in real life was the Raiders. Oh those pesky Las Vegas nee Oakland; Los Angeles; Oakland Raiders. This blog might as well be only about them. Sure, Gunner's 2nd kickoff return TD of the season was sick..
..Kyler's passing line was hilarious (before both teams went OFF in the 2nd half)..
.. and the Packers made me sweat for a minute or 10 when Jalen Hurts gave the Eagles a serious jolt until Aaron Jones made sure the teaser stayed alive for Sunday Night Football.
None of that would've matter if it wasn't for the Las Vegas Raiders and Gregg Williams going full send in a blaze of glory in what would be his final game as Jets defensive coordinater. After getting blown out in Atlanta last week, I made the Raiders the first official leg of this week's teaser to not only challenge them, but myself as well for trusting these frauds.
When the Raiders allowed a nearly six minute touchdown drive to Adam Gase's New York Jets to open the game and followed that up with a pick, I was officially terrified that the Raiders never got a chance to check out my blog and didn't realize what was at stake for both of us.
The Jets held a 13-7 lead in the 2nd quarter before the Raiders scored 17 straight points (highlighted by an over seven minute touchdown drive coming out of halftime) to take a 24-13 lead. It seemed like this game was going to go as the "experts" expected.
Then the Raiders decided to play like a team who's allowed the 28th most points in the league vs an 0-11 football team.
On the Raiders ensuing drive they were able to get within the Jets 10 yard line before turning the ball over on downs. Needless to say I was not enthused.
The Jets got the ball back on their own 9 yard line with only 1:37 remaining. Since the Raiders only had two timeouts, one first down would end the game and more importantly the Too Many Legs Teaser's hopes for a 6th straight week. After forcing a three and out, Vegas got the ball back on their own 39 with 35 seconds remaining.
Fast forward to 3rd and 10 from the Jets 46, just one play after Derek Carr nearly hit Nelson Agholor for the game winner.
Thank God for that bounty scumbag POS, Gregg Williams sending the house and having no safeties deep for two straight plays.
Not only did Derek Carr shut me up, but Henry Ruggs got to atone for a big drop earlier in the 4th. What a moment!
I don't know if that was some long con to keep the 0-16 "Tank for Trevor" year alive for NYJ or just some of the worst situational coaching of all time, but either way I am not asking anymore questions and gladly taking my payout. -1.5 never in doubt!
After going 7 for 7 in the 1pm and 4pm slots, all I needed was less than 57.5 points in SNF and #TooManyLegs Week 13 would officially hit for the first time since week 7.
If you didn't watch a down of SNF and saw that the final score was 22-16 you may think "wow, Doz, that under was never in doubt". Au contraire! Andy Reid did me and all other under backers a favor bigger than his baggy speedo mask by not challenging an incomplete pass that was actually a touchdown.
Even Tyreek Hill didn't realize he caught it. Had the touchdown counted, Kansas City would've been up 9 (likely 10 even thought Butker has missed 6 extra points this season)-3 with 10:51 left in the 2nd quarter. Instead they punted and the Broncos went on a 4:11 touchdown drive to take the lead.
Have you seen the Chiefs play football before? They score in bunches, putting up points like the pre-2019 NBA Finals Golden State Warriors. Who knows how differently the game goes if they get their swaggaaa back less than five minutes into the 2nd quarter? After this clearly missed challenge, it took the Chiefs almost 44 minutes to score their first touchdown of the game.
Ladies and gentlemen, that's how the Too Many Legs got to 5-7! Sunday we go for two straight. #HireDozo
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